Rockstar

What you are about to read has not been easy for me to write so I ask that you please try to read with an understanding heart.

As many of you know, I like to pretend that I am a rockstar.

Exhibit A

Somehow I got caught up in the fantasy and I actually started to believe that I was a rockstar. “People like me and I am cool.” I thought to myself. I should have known better. I’ve been chasing “cool” all my life.  Why would now be any different? Despite the absurdity of it all, what I’m saying is true. I actually thought I was pulling off my rockstar status.

I was wrong.

So wrong.

In a single moment, all that I had imagined came tumbling down. With one glance I could see that I had fallen so far behind “cool” that any hope I may have had to catch up was trampled over and squashed. In an instant my delusions were revealed and I learned that a rockstar at heart is not a rockstar at all. I lost all rockstar qualities when I saw this.

Exhibit B

I tried to be as polite as I could in my comment on the rockstar’s blog by stating, “I guess some tastes are acquired, like caviar and dry white wine.” I wanted to like it. I really tried. (Perhaps that is the difference between a real rockstar and one who pretends…a real rockstar doesn’t have to try, they just ARE!)  I even went back to the post, more than once, to study over the comments in hopes of finding something that I had missed. These women were hip and cool why did they like it and I didn’t. I tried to imagine my neck, playing host to such a piece of bling, Alas through all my effort, I just couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t like the necklace. In fact I kept having visions of my great grandmother’s jewelry box getting sick and puking all over that poor girls neck and chest! Perhaps maybe when I can afford to be trendy, I’ll think such accessories are the cats meow but until then, I’ll just have to accept my demoted rockstar status and walk away in shame.

To all true rockstars out there, thank you for humoring me and being nice when I came to play I still love you but I’m going to go back to where I belong now.

Exhibit C

It was fun while it lasted and in the process I think I finally came to understand why American Idol cuts off the auditions at 30...by that age the “hip-factor” is completely gone and watching someone try to pull it off is just sad.

Are you a rockstar?